One of the Many Secrets to Staying Happy

Eliminate toxic people from your life.

And I don't just mean that one guy/girl that's mean to you. I mean anybody who no longer encourages you to grow as a person or cares to see your happiness.

For me, it was a lot of my cousins (at least on the older side). I have 13 cousins on my moms side ranging from ages 28-4. There are five cousins in the older ranges (28-19), and I have eliminated four of them from my life.

It's not easy, and I understand why people don't want to do it. Putting in actual effort to have no contact with your own family sounds ridiculous, but it's a necessity that has to be done sometimes.

I decided one day that I have no room in my life for toxic people. I have a very clear mission in my life and that is to be happy and to spread happiness. If I can't be happy with myself, how on earth will I be able to spread happiness? I put in a lot of effort to be close with my cousins--I always wanted to fit in with them. But they're just not nice people. I tried to express how they had hurt my feelings (in a conversation that I told my mom verbatim, so I know I didn't say anything awful because if I did there's no way in hell I'd share with my mother) and all I got was responses such as:

"You're fucking ridiculous"
"I don't care if your feelings are hurt, I don't know who you think you are that you can talk to me like that"
"Your mouth is fucking unbelievable" (My favorite since I didn't swear once)
"You're so selfish"
"You're so stubborn, I don't know who you think you are that you can talk to me like this and not see that you're being ridiculous. You don't listen to anything I have to say, you're so goddamn stubborn"

Etc. Etc.

Point being, I tried to express my hurt feelings very clearly and in a manner that would cause the least damage, and they were unwilling to hear anything I had to hear. I decided at that point, that I was done. I would no longer make an attempt to foster a relationship that was in no way beneficial to me. That sounds selfish--and it is. That's the point.

We all need to be selfish sometimes in our lives. There is not a single thing wrong with it. It's unfortunate that the word has such a negative connotation to it, because it really is a necessity of life. If I am not selfish enough to take care of myself, I am of NO use to other people in my life.

So be selfish.

Eliminate toxic people.

Be happy.

Spread your happiness.

Let's continue to work on making a happier world. It's worth it, promise.